The Holiday Stamps Dilemma
I ordered various stamps for the holidays from the US Postal Service at the beginning of this month. I first asked them how long it would take before I received them. I was assured that it would take no longer than four to five days. I proceeded to write my holiday cards. Then I waited and waited and waited. Finally I used non-holiday stamps to mail them. I had plenty of those. Finally I called. I was told that they were en route. I waited some more. Still no stamps. I called again. I was assured that they would arrive before midnight. I was cold, snowy, and slushy. Sunday morning I poked my head outside the front door. I was in my dressing gown and bedroom slippers. Cautiously I looked about me just in case someone would catch a glimpse of me in this state of déshabillé. No one was around. I was safe. Just to be on the safe side, I stuck my hand in the mailbox and let my fingers do the searching. Nothing. It was a raw morning. I hurriedly closed the door. My hands and fingers were beginning to get cold. I started to shiver. I poured myself a nice cup of hot tea and went back upstairs to drink it.
“Foolish woman!” I chided myself. “It’s Sunday! Did you really expect to receive your stamps today?”
I wrapped myself in a blanket, stretched my leg on the ottoman, and decided that on such a cold and grey day, I will indulge myself by watching some old Christmas films on the classical film channel. The view outside the window was quite pleasant. Some squirrels were merrily playing a game of tag up and down the bare branches of the dogwood tree. A flurry of snow made that scene even more delightful. I felt completely decadent curled up toasty and warm in my nightwear as I watched old films.
I began to feel hungry. It was late afternoon by now. I went downstairs again. I peeked into the fridge. There was some nice hearty soup. I microwaved a bowl. As I was waiting for it to heat, I once again checked the mailbox. Of course, there was no mail.
I continued to vegetate as I sipped my soup. The sky began to darken. Night began to fall. I realized I had not done anything productive all day. I had not even taken a shower! It was time I did. I showered, dusted myself in talcum powder, sprayed myself with an old-fashioned rose-scented perfume that I use when I feel utterly lazy on a winter’s day. I put on a fresh flannel nightgown. It was now past nine o’clock in the evening. Because of the holidays, the classical radio station was playing old Christmas carols interspersed by classical music. The room was filled with soft inviting shadows. I turned down the eiderdown and went into the next room to turn off the television. I climbed. The music lulled me to sleep.
The next morning I checked the mailbox. There still was no sign of the holiday stamps! I was beginning to be annoyed! However, by around noon, there was a packet at last.
The envelope read PRIORITY UPSPS PRIORITY MAIL Date shipped 2020-12-97 Priority 4 Date of arrival 2020-12-21
One wonders, did it arrive by camel mail?
This past Saturday I received a Christmas card from Poland. It was stamped 16.12.2020. It arrived on 19.12.2020.
At least I will have to buy holiday stamps next year!