Reflections on September 11, 2001
As I sat sipping tea in my bedroom this morning, I turned to the bookshelf next to me for a book to read. My eyes fell upon a series of my old diaries. I randomly pulled one out. Sometimes I like going back and reading my old entries. Today, I came across what I had written about September 11, those many years ago. As I read, l relived it all again; the disbelief, the terror, the smell of the burning flesh that permeated the whole city for weeks and weeks. To this day, I refuse to go back to that area. They have rebuilt the Twin Towers and sadly, instead of leaving the surroundings as hallowed ground, they turned the area into a profitable tourist attraction. The ashes of the many bodies are intermingled within the soil there. I imagine the souls of the victims hovering over the place of their destruction. It makes me feel uncomfortable. If I would go there, I would feel as if I were a nosy curiosity seeker, and that I definitely could not be. It is too painful to remember and witness.
September 11, 2001 was the day that Arab terrorists viciously slammed their planes into the World Trade Centre. Our world stood still as we watched in horror and disbelief the destruction, the death, the incomprehensible violence that was committed on so many innocent people. The horrific vision of all those poor beings jumping out of the burning towers in desperation, is still seared in my mind. All month long one could smell of the pungent burning flesh and the burning towers all over the city, even as far away as where we live. It was the smell of destruction and death. It is incomprehensible how anyone could kill, leaving their families bereft at their loss and even more so in killing so many innocent people along with themselves! What kind of demonic people are these? Surely they realized they were not going straight into the arms of heavenly virgins but straight into the mouth of hell?
That morning is imprinted indelibly in my memory. Peter had gone downstairs into the basement, which he used as his home office. He was making a few calls trying to locate one of his criminals in jail in downtown Manhattan. He had a court appearance on the case that morning. He wanted to make sure the man would be produced before going into the city. The officer at the end of the line politely excused himself. ‘’We are in a state of emergency,’’ he said and hung up. Curious, Peter switched on the television. All the stations were off the air, except for Channel 2. Peter looked at the screen with unbelieving eyes.
‘’Stella! Stella! Come down! The Arabs are at it again!’’ he called, in an excited voice.
It was a cool morning. I was in my nightie and dressing gown pottering about in the kitchen, making coffee. Rosh Hashanah was around the corner and that morning I planned to go shopping for it.
What have the Arabs done again, I wondered, as l pushed down the lever of the coffee press? I arranged the coffee accoutrement on the tray.
‘’Stella! Come down!’’ he called again, in an urgent voice.
‘’Coming,’’ l said as l went downstairs.
As l lay down the tray on the coffee table. I looked at the images on the screen in disbelief. “It must be a horrible accident,” I said.
Just then another plane slammed into the second tower! The images on the screen were horrifying! There were people jumping from the burning tower, their bodies aflame! There was smoke everywhere, the sounds of inhumanly terrified screams and then the sound of sirens! This was not an accident! It was a horrible, inconceivable nightmare! I tried to call my sister in Los Angeles to reassure her that we are safe, but the lines were erratic. As I dialed, my eyes were glued to the tv. Just as I connected with her, the first tower crumbled. ‘’Oh no! Oh no!’’ I repeated over and over, in disbelief. How could a person comprehend such a thing? What kind of satanic mind could conceive such evil, and why? Why?
It was at that moment Kelly walked in from walking our dog Max. He too looked at the screen in disbelief. We all sat down to watch in a numb mesmerized silence. The phone rang. It was one of Kelly’s friends. He was in a state of shock. He saw the whole thing while on the highway driving to work. We began to make calls to make sure everyone we knew that worked in that area was safe.
All over the entire country the airports shut down. We were a country under siege. No one left their homes. No one cared to venture out. An ominous silence cloaked the city. One night Peter and l went out for a walk with Max. Kelly had cabin fever earlier on and had gone to his friend’s. The night was dark and silent. The street lights were not lit. It felt good to be out. We walked all the way to the footpath that led into the woods. The entrance was blocked by a police car whose headlights were aimed into the dark woods. One policeman was standing with a flashlight shining into the darkness. His other hand was on his gun holster. Another policeman was at the wheel of their car, peering into the darkness. We stopped and looked at them uncertainly. Should we walk on or should we head back home? The black night, the light aimed into the woods and the absolute silence felt eery. It seemed that even the crickets refrained from chirping their evening song. It all was so ominous.
“Let’s go back, Peter,” I whispered. Max was not fazed. He was sniffing every blade of grass and every leaf. After being cooped up all day, except for short walks, he really did not feel like heading back.
Just then Peter raised his head up to the sky and listened. There was a dull drone overhead. ’’An M16,” he said.
I clutched at his arm. “I want to go home,” I said tremulously. Peter nodded his head in agreement. He tugged urgently at Max’s leash.
As we headed home, we suddenly heard the sound of a chopper behind us. We stopped and looked back. The helicopter was flying low. From its belly a powerful light shone, flooding the darkened street. It seemed to be aimed on the main road. It felt like we were in a spy film to me. Peter did as well. He held my arm more tightly. Our hearts were pounding hard against our chests. We could hardly breathe. We quickened our steps as we hurried to the safety of home. It felt like an eternity till we got there! We entered our home and leaned against the shut door in relief. For a long while we did not venture out at night.
Many years have passed since then. I still cannot forget the terror we felt then. It seemed that our world had gone totally mad. It had. Life as it used to be has changed. We have become more cautious because we witnessed sheer unadulterated evil. When you look evil in the face, sadly you lose part if your innocence. You no longer believe in the goodness of mankind. We had lost our innocence that Wednesday on the eleventh day of September in the year 2002. The world has not been the same since. Evil and fear have crept into our lives.